True story

After I'm done reading one of the book from my collections called "Damaged", i was so angry and sad at the same time that eventually i can feel tears rolling down my cheek. I couldn't imagine an eight year old child be treated the way jodie be treated and suffered the way she did...!! A child life's destroyed thanks to all those paedophile bastards !!Arrg I'm so angry !!

Unfortunately i wont be telling Jodie story here but for those who like to read, you can try and grab a copy of the book, its worth it !!

I sincerely hope Jodie's will be able to recover very soon and God bless her !!

Good & Bad News

Good News:

- I'm able to resist few "temptations".
- I'm more active in cell group.
- I'm finally able to dragged myself to go to church again after few missed.
- I worried less and more optimists about myself and life.
- I am much happier and relaxed now.

Bad News:

- Mid-semester tests coming up n' dont have much time to prepare well.
- I've been sick for 3 days now and seriously considering to go to GP.

Well, thats what happened but i guess it's not too bad huh?

Esp for Pei, any tips for my last minute study preparation? Also thanks for all your comment and time you are putting in to read my boring blog lolz...Thanks :>
I dont think no one ever read my blog other than you hehehehe......!?!?!?!?
Oh also, have fun and be happy since your darling coming back soon and I like your post on the "reasons you create your blog" hehehe so sweet =p

Love, Linz-

My Mobile Phones

My Nokia 8800, still my fave :D


My New N73 Music edition ! L0v3 it :>

New Update !!

Yay, so many things to do and yet so little time =P

I really am enjoying my life now, so much things to do but i just dont want to worry about it now. I guess no point worrying about it now huh? hehehe I just want to enjoy every single little things in my life without having to worry so much about it. life's is short so i guess i just want to enjoy my life now to the fullest!

I'm really keen in collecting stuffs such as music cd's, movies, cooking recipes, and novels. I spend so much $$ buying those stuffs but i cant resist the tempations simply because:

1) I love listening to all sort of music,I dont think i can survive without it.
2) I love to just sit back and relax in front of TV watching movies when I'm free.
3) I love cooking, it makes me feel good to cook for someone special and myself, hehehe.
4) I just love to read cos it teaches me a lot of things about life but I'm not talking about uni text books =p hehehe not for me.
5) Lastly i want to pass it all to my childrens in future, hehehe I'm sure they will enjoy it as much as i do....

Alrighty, i guess that's it for now..

Ta, Linz

1 Litre of Tears

Only Human

Lyrics: Osanai Mai Translation: Jonathan Wu

On the opposite coast of sadness

is something called a smile

On the opposite coast of sadness

is something called a smile

But before we can go there,

is there something we’re waiting for?

In order to chase our dreams,

we can’t have a reason to run away

We’ve got to go, to that far away summer’s day

If we find it tomorrow, we can’t sigh

Because like a boat that opposes the stream

we have to walk straight on

In a place worn down by sadness

something called a miracle, is waiting

Yet we are still searching

for the sunflower that grows at the end of spring

The warrior who awaits the morning light

before he can clasp it with red nails, his tears glitter and fall

Even if we’ve grown used to loneliness

only relying on the light of the moon

We have to fly away with featherless wing

just go foward, just a little further

As the rainclouds break

the wet streets sparkling

Although it brings only darkness

A powerful, powerful light

helps push us to walk on.

Random entry

Wow, i havent been updating my blogger for quite some times now and i think it will only be fair if i updated more often.

I had 1 class today and i reckoned my time table this semester is a bit silly. Imagine, I had only 1 hour class on tuesday and that's it, I am done for the rest of the day. Ooh not to mention I live in city and it took me roughly around 1 hour to get to uni meaning 2 hours forth and back. How silly is that? but there's nothing I can do about it because thats the only class for lecture 1...

life's getting so complicated simply because I am still confused about my future !! Its not like I want to think about it but I have to think about it because i know i'm not young anymore & I'm an adult now, its time for me to take responsibilities for the mistakes i did. I'm still deciding on heaps of stuff and its not easy !! Anyhow, I believe i'll be able to overcome it soon..hopefully :D

I misses lots of people as usual & wondering if they ever miss me lolz..but it's all good !!

Lately, I like to just cuddling up on my bed or simply just sitting on my desk and listen to lots of music while thinking but i guess i should just learn from some people and live by the day without having to worry too much about future... :D Btw, I just realised i got heaps of really good songs on my laptop lolz..it tooks me so long to finally realised it cos' i have like more than 40GB worth of songs and still counting =P ....

Alright, It's time for me to get going very soon cos' I need to go to Big W to buy some stuff..

To anyone who's reading this blog, thanks for stopping by !!!

cheers and God bless,

~Linz ~

Read this, its interesting

Dave Winer's Test Site Where we test all kinds of new stuff..
What is friendship?Posted by Dave Winer, 9/20/03 at 8:03:14 AM.

I've been spending some amount of time in my grieving of Uncle Vava trying to explain to myself what a friend is, and is not. Friendship is the bigger statement. Lots of people are lovers but aren't friends. Lots of people are relatives and aren't friends. Lots of people work together who aren't friends. You can appreciate or admire someone, but that doesn't make them a friend. We're relatively casual about the word, but sometimes things happen that take the casualness out of it. When I had my near-death experience last year and the following long recuperation, I had a lot of time to think about what makes someone a friend. If they are scared of you when you need help, sorry, that's not friendship. If their attitude is "for better or worse," if they stick by you through thick and thin, that's when you can tell it's friendship. I do have some friends, but not as many as I thought.My uncle used to say no matter what your family is there for you when you need them. Last time we talked about this, after my catastrophe, I said Ken we know that's not true. And there was a time, in the late 80s when he really needed me, that I didn't come through for him. I remember hanging out in my happy suburban house in Menlo Park, with the statuesque girlfriend, and the freshly minted fortune, and not getting on a damned plane to help him through the loss of his wife. Luckily I did get to apologize for that, in this lifetime. As always, with me at least, he didn't bear a grudge, he just waved it off as not important.Most people use the term Friend far too casually. But if they had reason to pause, to think if so and so is really a friend, they would realize they either don't know (the relationship hasn't been tested), or they are not.I don't have a tidy answer about Ken and me and friendship. Sometimes we were friends, and other times, clearly, not. But I guess there's something remarkable in two people overcoming the barriers to friendship that family imposes, esp one as brutal as ours, to find some real communication at some point. Just to connect, for just a few moments, is rare, exceptionally rare.When friends are full of shit Friendship is not about always being nice, or agreeable, far from it. A friend will tell you when he or she thinks you're full of shit, but always casts it that way, never as a statement of fact. It's a fine but important distinction. If I say "you're full of shit" to a friend, it must be understood that this is my opinion only. Further, it's more likely that he or she is not the one who's so full, it's more likely that I am. That's why I cringe when someone, in the name of friendship, says this to me. Usually they're wrong, but there's no point arguing, they're in some kind of trance, pedaling hard to avoid looking at something they desperately want to avoid.An example. A woman named Bodie, who was a friend of mine about a decade ago (haven't heard from her in many years, hard to say that's friendship, right?) could act as a perfect mirror. I was fussing over a babe I thought I was in love with. Heh. I'd say "If only she would be more like this" and Bodie would say "In what way would you like to be more like that?" Over and over and over. At first it was totally irritating, then I figured it out. All the things I wanted my girlfriend to do, to be like, were actually things I wanted of myself, and of course were tapes I recorded in early life, before any glimmer of consciousness. In the end I survived perfectly well without the babe. But the lesson has stayed with me, vividly. So I'm wary of supposed friends who tell me they know what I need to do to straighten my life out. They're full of shit. Always. (Almost.)

Programmers: "Too many friends try to grab the wheel, and that always ends in an accident."

Back to the Great Va Va Voom One of the really cool things about Uncle Vava was that you could tell him he was full of shit and he'd agree with you. This is one of the ways he was a positive role model. I learned early-on that there's little point arguing about whether I'm full of shit or not. I am. It's demonstrable. So much time is wasted on this. The nuggets of truth are few and far between. Most of the time we're mired in confusing shit. So what. That and $5 used to get you a box seat at Shea Stadium.

Friendship

Can anyone tell me what is the true meaning of friendship?

Sometimes I wonder what friendship really is, because most of the time where I thought i found friends who I can actually trust and talk to about everything, turned out i was very wrong (99.9%)..I need heaps of courage before i am able to opened up everything to a friend but turned out its not as easy as i thought its gonna be..
People came and told me to be honest to myself and dont stop looking for friends who i can talk too and i thought well okay i will give it a try but then again, i was wrong.
They asked me to share my problems and misery with them and they always encourage me by saying everything will be alright and they will always support me and be my "friend" but whenever I am able to fully trust them and told them everything, they listened to me and thats it, they are gone forever!!
I mean how could people do such things, dont they at least understand how hard is it for me to be able to confess and opened up all my problems to them? does it hurt you to listen to me? I dont think so or is it because I'm not as good or as smart as you? well if it is I am "sorry" because God created me the way I am now. I might not be as smart or as good as others but at least I still value relationship, friendship...
If you're judging me then its up to you because i cant tell you not judge me !!!
They told me "I'm your friend" or "we are sisters and brothers in christ"..yeah right whatever!!
I dont think this is friendship, at least not for me...
How could you said to someone that you are their friend and then turned out you're too busy to even say "Hi" to them.,Such a simple two letter word and you cant even do it for what you so called "friend"..what's that lolz..
I dont blame those who did that to me, thats because probably they are too busy with their life to even say "Hi" to a friend but I just want to say, it hurts me when people do this to me..if you think you cant be my friend, then thats it, just come and tell me the truth and I will be alright because I hate people who pretend to be my friend..
Seriously i hate pretenders cos' they are pathetic.
Did I ever expect too much from my friends? is it not normal to wanting to talk to your friend? to tell them you're sad? to ask for their advice? is it really too much?
I dont know, i guess i just dont know what friendships are anymore...
I've a couple who told me that there is no such thing as "friendship" anymore in today's world and they want me to stop being so naive, wake up and face the world, they told me "if you're either rich or famous" then you will definitely be able to score yourself heaps of what you so-called "friends" but if you're not rich or famous then thats it, dont even think about friendship anymore. In my case i think its more like probably I'm not up to their IQ standard or in other word I am not smart, good or holy enough to be their friends...
Well, whatever it is I guess I just dont care anymore..I'll not want to sheds anymore tears for them anymore cos Its simply not worth it and they dont deserve it...
I dont come from christianity background and still in a process of learning whole lots about christianity but I'm SURE that nowhere in bible will say something like "mind your own life and ditch your friends when you're busy, only talk or listen to them when you're free"...
I mean people out there should face the fact that 24-hours a day is not even enough for ourself, let alone spending time with friends and listening to their crap, but then again it's the matter on whether or not we're willing to give some of our time to our friends...
Dont call yourself people's friend if you cant even spare a tiny portion of your time for them esp. when they are in need, friends dont do that...
Still I guess some people willnot understand what I am trying to say or how i feel at this time but it doesnt matter, all i want to say is do yourself a favour and think about it, use "empathy", try to put yourself in others position and really feel it...

Well, Just think about it

Linz -

First Entry

Oh well, back to blogging !!

All thanks to my friends who asked me to start blogging again, so that they could keep in touch with what's happening in my life lolz..

I used to have xanga but i dont really use it anymore, cos I'm just too lazy to upgrade as well as "busy" hehe..But from now on, i will try to upgrade as often as possible.

Ok, lets get to some serious stuff :)

I've been doing lots of thinking recently and i still cant seem to find solutions to my problems yet but i truly believe that if i am willing to open my heart and put 100% faith & trust in GOD again, He will definitely show me the way out !!
I am ashamed of myself for ever doubting Him and I've to start asking for forgiveness.
Now, i can clearly see that "Nothing is impossible" in the name of our Father..
All Thanks to my friends whom I talked to about my problems..Thanks for making me believe in Him again and for reminding me that He has beautiful plan for each one of us as well as there is no such thing as "a lone christian". I am glad I opened my hearts out to you people (you know who you are).

Well, from now on I've to think more positively and have more confident towards myself and try to get rid of all the past.. :)

Time to create a New "I" ..hehehe

For people out there, always remember this saying because it keeps me alive:

"The Will of God will never lead you, where the Grace of God cannot keep you"

God bless,

Linz