~ 给我你的爱 ~

等待一点一滴你对我感到安心

感觉朋友关系有了新的默契

便利商店里谁也买不到

我们最想要的东西

只握在喜欢的人手上

给我你的爱让我陪着你去未来

给我你的爱手拉着手不放开

就算宇宙爆炸海水都蒸发

只愿你的记忆里有我的拥抱

我的最大幸褔是发现了我爱你

灵魂有了意义用每一天珍惜

便利商店里谁也买不到

我们最想要的东西

只握在喜欢的人手上

给我你的爱让我陪着你去未来

给我你的爱手拉着手不放开

就算宇宙爆炸海水都蒸发

只愿你的记忆里有我的拥抱

雨和天空也有相爱的可能

望着你的微笑情不自禁

给我你的爱让我陪着你去未来

给我你的爱手拉着手不放开

就算地球毁灭来不及流泪

只愿你的记忆里有我的拥抱

Loneliness ~

Hi Hi world..

I am bored to death and I really don't know how to overcome the feeling ~

There are times where I want to drink and smoke my pains away, but I am not a smoker and I don't want to get addictive plus I don't want to drink too much alcohol cos' I don't want to get shaggy tum..tum..he he he !! Not since I'm trying so hard to maintain an iron board tum..tum..lol

I want a big bear warm hug, I want to cuddle, pillow talks, I want the sweet touches, *sigh* I seriously missing those moment..

Being single and available is good in a way but it's not perfect cos' there are things that you can't have from being single, no ones to talk to, no ones to tell you that everything is going to be alright when you're a mess ~~ BUT again, I guess nothing is perfect in real world which is kind of sucks *Dissapointed*...I mean sure you can still talks to your "friends" but the feelings is different..I am assuming whoever that read my blog and been in relationship before will understand what I'm saying..*No Offence* to those that have never been into relationship ~~

Eventhough I am out with a bunch of friends but the feeling of emptiness and loneliness is still there even if I'm hoping it will go and shed away but its NOT !! So suck big times ... :]

Anyway, I also just want to apologized to people who I let down recently, I don't mean it guys !!

I am sincerely and genuinely SORRY ...

, Linda - * 我很想你, kZ *

I'm stuck

Lol, I haven't been out at all for 2 days (48 hours)..Not even one step out of my apartment =]
I really have to study hard cos' I got 2 exams coming up in 2 weeks time. That's right, 2 weeks !!
I've not been able to hang out with anyone at all except when I have class and at work.
he he I got a part-time job but nothings special or great about it. Well, as long as I get paid and some experience, I don't really mind doing it lol.. =]

I am so blessed these days and I really want to thanks my friends who has been supporting me and keep spamming me with all these great readings, sermons, url links to certain website lol..but I really am enjoying it guys..Thanks for your prayers, supports and comforts..!! =]

I am so lucky to have all of you, ever since I opened up myself to people again, I realized that there are people who do truly care about me.. =]

I want to draw myself close to God cos if it wasn't God who gave me the strength, I don't think I will be able to stand still and be where I am now. He never leaves me and deep down inside I knew that He will always walks and guide me throughout my journey..

Jo gave me a book by Rick Warren called "The Purpose Driven Life" and I am trying to read it everyday plus few of us went to Koorong and Words bookstore and I bought so many books, I spent like more than $250 on books =P but I still haven't got time to read it all..Ooh not to mention some of it are for presents.. =]

I got my friends who actually came and tell me that they are very proud of me right on my face and that makes me feels like millions..To have you guys always there supporting me, makes me feel alive and worthwhile again..I am so glad that God gives me a chance to change to be better..

Just remember, I will always be there for you guys no matter what happened, nothing can break our friendship.. I will always loves you guys..

Just stay tune, more posts are coming up very soon.. =]

Unfortunately I gtg now, have to study but I will try to post again soon...

GBU all abundantly ..

Love, Linz-

Feeling Good ...

I've been feeling really good recently apart from thinking about my coming final exams..
There are few things that i am not very satisfied or happy with but I do understand the fact that I am not perfect and i am able to make mistakes...

I've learned to accept my flaws and trying hard to change it but all processes takes time..so I don't want to rush into things...

I am very happy with the fact that I've been keeping in touch with few old friends and I missed them so much..it's really stupid of me to ever cut them off just like that...

I am genuinely sorry guys...

Alrighty, Nothing much happening but I did something I am very proud of..!!

I don't think I want to discuss it here cos' I don't want some people to read them but anyway all I can say is that I am proud of myself and I wouldn't be able to do it without God's help..!!
He gave me strength to do the impossible... :)

Love ya all, <3>

!!..... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY To All the mother's in the world .....!!

Special Message to My Very Special Mum:

Mum, you are the most important and special person in my life, I could have never imagine how life would be without you standing next to me and supporting me all the way through my journey in life...
Thanks for your unconditional love, care, understanding, and for all the tears you shed for me when things goes wrong..
Also, I am SORRY if I ever disappoint you in any way !!

I LOVE YOU MUM and no words can described how much and strong my love for you..

Ur one and only Daughter,

Linda <3

Depressing ....

Arghh the most depressing time had yet to come very soon..

Final exam's coming soon and it's right on my Birthday (15/06/07). What makes it worst is that I got 2 exams on the same day =(

But the good thing is I can go out and Party after my exams =) cos' I got my last exam at the 25th of June... So, YAYY....Finally, Indo here I come...cant wait to go back...!!

Alright, time for me to study more now..

Love Love, Linz...

Muacxzz !!

PT session

Oh God,

Personal training sessions is killing me, I never know that it is going to be so hard eventhough it does look like a really simple exercises.
Looks does deceive, what can I say...
But it is all worth it though and my whole body is killing me now...
Alrighty, I still have classes to go to until 6 pm tonight..
So Good Luck to Me.. :)

PS: I love my trainers Rasha and Kelly (very nice and kind :p)

-Linz-

Hidden stamina..

I havent been exercising and hit the gym for God's know how long and yet something surprising came up and I am very pleased.. =)

Finally i started going to gym again and on my first day (24/04) I am able to do 3.5 hours straight exercices and classes without any break at all..

- I did 1 hour cardio with my personal trainer.
- 1 hour hi/lo.
- 45 min steps.
- 45 min pilates.

I am really surprised at myself lol.. !!

But *two thumbs up* for those biggest loser contestant who's currently competing cos' they are extremely strong. Their sizes are so big and yet they can do 6 hours exercises everyday...
It's definitely a hard core workout... !! Good Work Guys !!

Anyway, I'll have to try harder ....

linz-

Mixed feeling

* 2 test and 2 assignment due very soon !!

I wonder what should I do to get rid of those feeling?..

I am missing you days and nights !! But i understand we're doing it for good...

Love, Linz-

Confused

*Sigh*

I am so confused..
I thought about it all the time & I definitely know the best thing for both you and me but it's going to be very hard for both of us when the moment comes...

Can anyone tell me whether I should be Happy or Sad?

You'll be in my heart always!!

Love, -Linz-

The Legend of Star Apple

I couldnt believe it myself, but it's true. I spent around 40 hours straight up watching a Taiwanese drama series (30 episodes in total) called "sing ping guo le yuan" aka "the legend of Star Apple" !! I am totally hooked by that series. Most people who watch that would say "there is nothing really that special about that movie or something like "ooh, thats very typical love story" where you can guess the ending, etc etc"...

Well I love that drama series hehehe...

After that movie, i still couldnt sleep and when i did eventually able to sleep, i dreamt about it again !! I guess I'm really taking the story to heart, esp the ending..such a beautiful ending !!

I wonder if guys like that do exist in this world? They are just so perfect (I am not implying on their looks but on their characters)..!!! I cried few times while watching the movies cos' there are some parts that's very touching..

Their love towards a person is 100% pure love and it doesnt come easily!!

Me and Amy (she watch 1/4 of the movies) both agreed that's the love we want and we'll never let go a pure love once we got it :) ...*sigh* such a beautiful movies (lots of conflict in between but what's matter is the ending, it's simply beautiful)...!!

Anyway, I am going to get something to eat now, I realised I havent eaten yet for the last 30 hours =p hehehe.....

BaiBai,

-Linz-

YaY..Happy

Yess, today is my last day of class and I'll have 2 weeks easter holiday but unfortunately I'll have few assignments and tests due after the holiday *sobs* poor me :( Anyway, its still better than having no holiday at all isnt it? hehehe

I've a mid sem test today for my econometrics subject (worth 15%) and i guess i did pretty well..But i did study very hard last night (up to 4 am) hehehe...!! It's all worth it !!

I had class today from 11am-6pm (non-stop) and I'm totally exhausted but due to my holiday excitement, i still dont feel like going home yet, i am waiting for Amy to call me cos' probably I'll be going to her place after her tutorial....

Life's been pretty good and I'm basically just enjoying it, doing things i love doing (house chores (cleaning, cooking,etc) , reading, watching movies and just listening to musics)..I am afraid that I'll be the next Monica (From friends TV shows) cos' I am a clean freaks, there is never a day where I don't clean and tidy up something !!
Whether I am Sad or Happy, I would do chores !! (How terrible is that??) :S ....

Well, I am so into Joyce Meyer books now cos' its very good..worth buying and reading it..!!
I am currently reading one of her book called "7 things that steal your joy" and I am so hooked...

Anyway, I've not be in touch with some people for quite some times now and for those who are wondering how I am doing, just visit my blogspot adn check it out cos I'll update it regularly (well, at least I'll give it a try :p) ....

I just want to wish people "Happy Holiday" and for those who are having exams and graduating soon, I sincerely wish you all Good Luck and All the Best ^-^

GOD BLESS and Love, -Linz- @->>---

My Cactus

^_* My First and New Cactus ^_*

My Home made Lasagna

It took me 5-6 long hours to make the lasagna and finally I made it !?!?!?

Btw, Thats the 2nd time I made the lasagna and I made it last 2 weeks ago, not Today ...

Watch out guys. there will be more photos of my cooking in future =)

Yumm... Yumm...Perfecto !!

Beautiful Sunday

Without doubt, today is a beautiful day !!


I woke up at around 9-ish today cos' i've to go to church at 11 A.M. So, after I'm done with my morning chores i went to take shower and get ready. For some reason, I'm very excited about going to church and cell group again these days which i think is a good thing to do.. =)

Today sermon is very interesting, Ray (senior pastor) in my church talked about "blood of christ" and it made me realised about the value of life so much..Well, there are much more than that but I dont think I'll write it all down here..But somehow, i started to get all fired up about life again =) ... I'm a very lucky person!!!

After church, me, ed, lina, inggrid, william, hendra and 1 of the girl (oops sorry, dont remember her name) went out for lunch and we talked about lots of stuff and it was so much fun...

On the way to Homebush, Lina (my cell group leader) asked me if i want to be a sunday school teacher and i said to her, do you think i'm qualified for that job? cos if i did, there is no doubt i would love to take the job as a sunday school teacher cos' i simply loves kids & i want to be part of God's work...So, after I thought about it, I guess I'll take the offer since I've all the support I needed..!!


So, i went out shopping today after lunch and i bought few things:

1) Estee lauder "Intuition" eau de parfum + Sean John "Unforgivable" (men's fragrance), i dont know why i bought it cos' I just bought JLo "Glow" few months ago. Anyway, I just love the smell...






2) A black Giordano "Mickey" T-shirt , it's so cute...hehehe







3) A grey Giordano button cardigan, perfect for winter & autumn + Lina bought 1 too with different
colour...yay..nicey !!





4) A pair of Black high heel by Zoe Wittner




After shopping, 4 of us went to Hoyts in Broadway to watch "Mr. Bean's holiday". I guess it's alright & funny but again, which 1 of Mr. Bean's movies not funny..It's very typical!!

Well, thats basically what's going on today..I had so much fun !!

God bless!

Cheers, Linz'-

(si kecil) <-- julukan dari papa.

*tdk blh dihapus* hehehe....

True story

After I'm done reading one of the book from my collections called "Damaged", i was so angry and sad at the same time that eventually i can feel tears rolling down my cheek. I couldn't imagine an eight year old child be treated the way jodie be treated and suffered the way she did...!! A child life's destroyed thanks to all those paedophile bastards !!Arrg I'm so angry !!

Unfortunately i wont be telling Jodie story here but for those who like to read, you can try and grab a copy of the book, its worth it !!

I sincerely hope Jodie's will be able to recover very soon and God bless her !!

Good & Bad News

Good News:

- I'm able to resist few "temptations".
- I'm more active in cell group.
- I'm finally able to dragged myself to go to church again after few missed.
- I worried less and more optimists about myself and life.
- I am much happier and relaxed now.

Bad News:

- Mid-semester tests coming up n' dont have much time to prepare well.
- I've been sick for 3 days now and seriously considering to go to GP.

Well, thats what happened but i guess it's not too bad huh?

Esp for Pei, any tips for my last minute study preparation? Also thanks for all your comment and time you are putting in to read my boring blog lolz...Thanks :>
I dont think no one ever read my blog other than you hehehehe......!?!?!?!?
Oh also, have fun and be happy since your darling coming back soon and I like your post on the "reasons you create your blog" hehehe so sweet =p

Love, Linz-

My Mobile Phones

My Nokia 8800, still my fave :D


My New N73 Music edition ! L0v3 it :>

New Update !!

Yay, so many things to do and yet so little time =P

I really am enjoying my life now, so much things to do but i just dont want to worry about it now. I guess no point worrying about it now huh? hehehe I just want to enjoy every single little things in my life without having to worry so much about it. life's is short so i guess i just want to enjoy my life now to the fullest!

I'm really keen in collecting stuffs such as music cd's, movies, cooking recipes, and novels. I spend so much $$ buying those stuffs but i cant resist the tempations simply because:

1) I love listening to all sort of music,I dont think i can survive without it.
2) I love to just sit back and relax in front of TV watching movies when I'm free.
3) I love cooking, it makes me feel good to cook for someone special and myself, hehehe.
4) I just love to read cos it teaches me a lot of things about life but I'm not talking about uni text books =p hehehe not for me.
5) Lastly i want to pass it all to my childrens in future, hehehe I'm sure they will enjoy it as much as i do....

Alrighty, i guess that's it for now..

Ta, Linz

1 Litre of Tears

Only Human

Lyrics: Osanai Mai Translation: Jonathan Wu

On the opposite coast of sadness

is something called a smile

On the opposite coast of sadness

is something called a smile

But before we can go there,

is there something we’re waiting for?

In order to chase our dreams,

we can’t have a reason to run away

We’ve got to go, to that far away summer’s day

If we find it tomorrow, we can’t sigh

Because like a boat that opposes the stream

we have to walk straight on

In a place worn down by sadness

something called a miracle, is waiting

Yet we are still searching

for the sunflower that grows at the end of spring

The warrior who awaits the morning light

before he can clasp it with red nails, his tears glitter and fall

Even if we’ve grown used to loneliness

only relying on the light of the moon

We have to fly away with featherless wing

just go foward, just a little further

As the rainclouds break

the wet streets sparkling

Although it brings only darkness

A powerful, powerful light

helps push us to walk on.

Random entry

Wow, i havent been updating my blogger for quite some times now and i think it will only be fair if i updated more often.

I had 1 class today and i reckoned my time table this semester is a bit silly. Imagine, I had only 1 hour class on tuesday and that's it, I am done for the rest of the day. Ooh not to mention I live in city and it took me roughly around 1 hour to get to uni meaning 2 hours forth and back. How silly is that? but there's nothing I can do about it because thats the only class for lecture 1...

life's getting so complicated simply because I am still confused about my future !! Its not like I want to think about it but I have to think about it because i know i'm not young anymore & I'm an adult now, its time for me to take responsibilities for the mistakes i did. I'm still deciding on heaps of stuff and its not easy !! Anyhow, I believe i'll be able to overcome it soon..hopefully :D

I misses lots of people as usual & wondering if they ever miss me lolz..but it's all good !!

Lately, I like to just cuddling up on my bed or simply just sitting on my desk and listen to lots of music while thinking but i guess i should just learn from some people and live by the day without having to worry too much about future... :D Btw, I just realised i got heaps of really good songs on my laptop lolz..it tooks me so long to finally realised it cos' i have like more than 40GB worth of songs and still counting =P ....

Alright, It's time for me to get going very soon cos' I need to go to Big W to buy some stuff..

To anyone who's reading this blog, thanks for stopping by !!!

cheers and God bless,

~Linz ~

Read this, its interesting

Dave Winer's Test Site Where we test all kinds of new stuff..
What is friendship?Posted by Dave Winer, 9/20/03 at 8:03:14 AM.

I've been spending some amount of time in my grieving of Uncle Vava trying to explain to myself what a friend is, and is not. Friendship is the bigger statement. Lots of people are lovers but aren't friends. Lots of people are relatives and aren't friends. Lots of people work together who aren't friends. You can appreciate or admire someone, but that doesn't make them a friend. We're relatively casual about the word, but sometimes things happen that take the casualness out of it. When I had my near-death experience last year and the following long recuperation, I had a lot of time to think about what makes someone a friend. If they are scared of you when you need help, sorry, that's not friendship. If their attitude is "for better or worse," if they stick by you through thick and thin, that's when you can tell it's friendship. I do have some friends, but not as many as I thought.My uncle used to say no matter what your family is there for you when you need them. Last time we talked about this, after my catastrophe, I said Ken we know that's not true. And there was a time, in the late 80s when he really needed me, that I didn't come through for him. I remember hanging out in my happy suburban house in Menlo Park, with the statuesque girlfriend, and the freshly minted fortune, and not getting on a damned plane to help him through the loss of his wife. Luckily I did get to apologize for that, in this lifetime. As always, with me at least, he didn't bear a grudge, he just waved it off as not important.Most people use the term Friend far too casually. But if they had reason to pause, to think if so and so is really a friend, they would realize they either don't know (the relationship hasn't been tested), or they are not.I don't have a tidy answer about Ken and me and friendship. Sometimes we were friends, and other times, clearly, not. But I guess there's something remarkable in two people overcoming the barriers to friendship that family imposes, esp one as brutal as ours, to find some real communication at some point. Just to connect, for just a few moments, is rare, exceptionally rare.When friends are full of shit Friendship is not about always being nice, or agreeable, far from it. A friend will tell you when he or she thinks you're full of shit, but always casts it that way, never as a statement of fact. It's a fine but important distinction. If I say "you're full of shit" to a friend, it must be understood that this is my opinion only. Further, it's more likely that he or she is not the one who's so full, it's more likely that I am. That's why I cringe when someone, in the name of friendship, says this to me. Usually they're wrong, but there's no point arguing, they're in some kind of trance, pedaling hard to avoid looking at something they desperately want to avoid.An example. A woman named Bodie, who was a friend of mine about a decade ago (haven't heard from her in many years, hard to say that's friendship, right?) could act as a perfect mirror. I was fussing over a babe I thought I was in love with. Heh. I'd say "If only she would be more like this" and Bodie would say "In what way would you like to be more like that?" Over and over and over. At first it was totally irritating, then I figured it out. All the things I wanted my girlfriend to do, to be like, were actually things I wanted of myself, and of course were tapes I recorded in early life, before any glimmer of consciousness. In the end I survived perfectly well without the babe. But the lesson has stayed with me, vividly. So I'm wary of supposed friends who tell me they know what I need to do to straighten my life out. They're full of shit. Always. (Almost.)

Programmers: "Too many friends try to grab the wheel, and that always ends in an accident."

Back to the Great Va Va Voom One of the really cool things about Uncle Vava was that you could tell him he was full of shit and he'd agree with you. This is one of the ways he was a positive role model. I learned early-on that there's little point arguing about whether I'm full of shit or not. I am. It's demonstrable. So much time is wasted on this. The nuggets of truth are few and far between. Most of the time we're mired in confusing shit. So what. That and $5 used to get you a box seat at Shea Stadium.

Friendship

Can anyone tell me what is the true meaning of friendship?

Sometimes I wonder what friendship really is, because most of the time where I thought i found friends who I can actually trust and talk to about everything, turned out i was very wrong (99.9%)..I need heaps of courage before i am able to opened up everything to a friend but turned out its not as easy as i thought its gonna be..
People came and told me to be honest to myself and dont stop looking for friends who i can talk too and i thought well okay i will give it a try but then again, i was wrong.
They asked me to share my problems and misery with them and they always encourage me by saying everything will be alright and they will always support me and be my "friend" but whenever I am able to fully trust them and told them everything, they listened to me and thats it, they are gone forever!!
I mean how could people do such things, dont they at least understand how hard is it for me to be able to confess and opened up all my problems to them? does it hurt you to listen to me? I dont think so or is it because I'm not as good or as smart as you? well if it is I am "sorry" because God created me the way I am now. I might not be as smart or as good as others but at least I still value relationship, friendship...
If you're judging me then its up to you because i cant tell you not judge me !!!
They told me "I'm your friend" or "we are sisters and brothers in christ"..yeah right whatever!!
I dont think this is friendship, at least not for me...
How could you said to someone that you are their friend and then turned out you're too busy to even say "Hi" to them.,Such a simple two letter word and you cant even do it for what you so called "friend"..what's that lolz..
I dont blame those who did that to me, thats because probably they are too busy with their life to even say "Hi" to a friend but I just want to say, it hurts me when people do this to me..if you think you cant be my friend, then thats it, just come and tell me the truth and I will be alright because I hate people who pretend to be my friend..
Seriously i hate pretenders cos' they are pathetic.
Did I ever expect too much from my friends? is it not normal to wanting to talk to your friend? to tell them you're sad? to ask for their advice? is it really too much?
I dont know, i guess i just dont know what friendships are anymore...
I've a couple who told me that there is no such thing as "friendship" anymore in today's world and they want me to stop being so naive, wake up and face the world, they told me "if you're either rich or famous" then you will definitely be able to score yourself heaps of what you so-called "friends" but if you're not rich or famous then thats it, dont even think about friendship anymore. In my case i think its more like probably I'm not up to their IQ standard or in other word I am not smart, good or holy enough to be their friends...
Well, whatever it is I guess I just dont care anymore..I'll not want to sheds anymore tears for them anymore cos Its simply not worth it and they dont deserve it...
I dont come from christianity background and still in a process of learning whole lots about christianity but I'm SURE that nowhere in bible will say something like "mind your own life and ditch your friends when you're busy, only talk or listen to them when you're free"...
I mean people out there should face the fact that 24-hours a day is not even enough for ourself, let alone spending time with friends and listening to their crap, but then again it's the matter on whether or not we're willing to give some of our time to our friends...
Dont call yourself people's friend if you cant even spare a tiny portion of your time for them esp. when they are in need, friends dont do that...
Still I guess some people willnot understand what I am trying to say or how i feel at this time but it doesnt matter, all i want to say is do yourself a favour and think about it, use "empathy", try to put yourself in others position and really feel it...

Well, Just think about it

Linz -

First Entry

Oh well, back to blogging !!

All thanks to my friends who asked me to start blogging again, so that they could keep in touch with what's happening in my life lolz..

I used to have xanga but i dont really use it anymore, cos I'm just too lazy to upgrade as well as "busy" hehe..But from now on, i will try to upgrade as often as possible.

Ok, lets get to some serious stuff :)

I've been doing lots of thinking recently and i still cant seem to find solutions to my problems yet but i truly believe that if i am willing to open my heart and put 100% faith & trust in GOD again, He will definitely show me the way out !!
I am ashamed of myself for ever doubting Him and I've to start asking for forgiveness.
Now, i can clearly see that "Nothing is impossible" in the name of our Father..
All Thanks to my friends whom I talked to about my problems..Thanks for making me believe in Him again and for reminding me that He has beautiful plan for each one of us as well as there is no such thing as "a lone christian". I am glad I opened my hearts out to you people (you know who you are).

Well, from now on I've to think more positively and have more confident towards myself and try to get rid of all the past.. :)

Time to create a New "I" ..hehehe

For people out there, always remember this saying because it keeps me alive:

"The Will of God will never lead you, where the Grace of God cannot keep you"

God bless,

Linz